You Got a Minute?: Bill Schwartz Tribute

Written by Joel Goldman, Past Supreme Prior

The phone rings. “Joel, you got a minute?” It’s Bill Schwartz. This scenario happened when I was Prior of Sigma Zeta (Indiana), Regional Governor, and when I served on the Octagon. When Bill said “you got a minute” then you better not have said “yes” unless you had an hour to give.

The only time that I did not hear those words from Bill was when I served on Sigma Alpha Mu’s professional staff from 1985- 1992. In fact, I had the converse issue of trying to get Bill’s undivided attention, but he went from call to call all day long. I finally figured out that the only way to meet with Bill without interruption was to join him on his lunch time walk. These were never just a stroll around the block. It felt more like I was in training for a 10k sprint. I would usually get through my list of business to discuss with Bill within the first mile or two. After that Bill would just free flow talk and impart his years of wisdom from being Sigma Alpha Mu’s Executive Director.

It’s been 27 years since my last walk with Bill when I was serving as his Assistant Executive Director. I now serve CARE as the Executive Director of their Entertainment Industry Strategy & Relations office in Hollywood. The tools that serve me in my current role and have throughout my career I learned from my first boss and mentor, Bill. He taught me how to ask good questions, when to shut up, and how to listen. He taught me how to hear what people were really saying and not saying. If you ask anyone that has ever worked with me in my career about my strengths, they would tell you how I build and maintain relationships. I attribute that to Bill. There are 4 pillars of relationship building that he taught me. I use them everyday.

1 Find the common ground. Bill taught me that when you walk into a Prior’s room in the chapter house or sit in the Chapter Advisor’s office observe what was on the walls or shelves; is there a photo, a book, that helps you make a personal connection to help start the dialogue.

2 Bill always said “see the man”… Don’t just be a voice on the phone when you can meet face to face. Because of Bill, I will get on a plane and fly halfway around the world to meet someone face to face if it is an important business relationship that needs to be established.

3 The environment where you meet is crucial. “Take the Council out for dinner,” Bill would say (note he’d also say “go for pizza and save the Fraternity some dough”). You will learn more at a meal then sitting in an office. And you will get to know them on a personal level which will carry you far.

4 Bill would say find out what a person is passionate about and find a way to involve that interest in the organization. Bill used to tell the story of a newly initiated legacy from a chapter that the Prior complained would not get involved. When Bill visited the chapter he found out he loved to paint. There was a glass wall in the foyer and Bill suggested that he paint on it to welcome guests, celebrate homecoming, etc…That painter eventually became the Prior.

I was blessed to have Bill impart his knowledge on me. He was grooming me to become the 3rd Executive Director in SAM’s history. Following his and Jimmy Hammerstein’s footsteps would not be easy. During the course of my 7 years of the Fraternity staff, Bill and I each had a major unexpected life event that changed our courses, but deepened our bonds of Fraternalism.

Bill married later in life to a wonderful woman he knew from growing up in Oklahoma City. Judy was a gorgeous soul inside and out. Bill and Judy had a beautiful daughter appropriately named Jolie. Judy died in a car crash and was tragically taken from Bill and 8 year old Jolie. I moved into their home to help in the month that followed Judy’s death. Jolie, Bill, and I became more like family in the months and years that followed.

My life event would happen a few years after Judy’s passing. It was the late 80’s and being openly gay at work (especially in Indiana) was not something you did if you wanted to keep your job. But like many gay men in the early 90’s, I hit Bill with the double whammy that not only was I gay, but I had been diagnosed with HIV. I was given a prognosis of 2-3 years to live. I decided to leave the Fraternity’s employ so that I could speak on campuses to educate college students about HIV/AIDS and how to protect oneself.

Bill and PSP Phil Glauben who was the Leadership Conference Chairman at the time asked me to share my story at the next ΣAM Convention. The room was literally standing room only with every undergraduate, alumni and their wives in attendance. Sharing my story was liberating and affirming of Fraternalism. I surpassed the 2-3 year prognosis because of the new HIV “drug cocktail.” When a seat became vacant on the Octagon during the school year, Supreme Prior Hanno Mott invited me to fill the seat. At a time when HIV+ people were being fired from jobs, kicked out of apartments, and disowned by loved ones, Sigma Alpha Mu was modeling the way that there was no stigma attached to living with HIV.

I served on the Octagon for 5 years and I was ready to ascend to the role of Supreme Prior. A few months before the Atlanta Convention where I would be elected, my hometown newspaper, The Columbus Dispatch, ran a profile piece on me. The article mentioned that I lived with my life-partner Eddie. A few of my contemporaries brought copies of the articles to Convention sharing it with undergraduates saying that if ΣAM elects an openly gay Supreme Prior it will kill rush for the entire Fraternity.

Bill and PSP Larry Schafer met with me and said that I was not to back down. “You are the man who is ready for this position,” Bill said. It was ironic that men in their 60’s were modeling the way for a younger generation to be okay with electing an openly HIV+ gay man. The vote counter whispered in my ear that only 4 votes were not cast for my re-election to the Octagon. The Octagon met after the business session to vote in their next Supreme Prior and I was unanimously elected. Again, Fraternalism was reaffirmed for me.

When I first met the legendary Bill Schwartz at the first Conclave I attended at Mu Psi, Miami University. I never would have predicted that someday I would think of him as a first boss, a mentor, a friend, and a father-figure. I am blessed to have been taught so much by him and to use those gifts every day. How I yearn for those hour calls that were only supposed to be a minute.

Joel’s story is an example of the impact Bill had on the lives of his fellow fratres, friends, family, and fraternal community. To celebrate Bill’s invaluable legacy, we have prepared a 6-minute video tribute and message board that are available to view at sam.org/bill. Below you will find a handful of the written messages shared in tribute to Bill’s memory.

We Bear Witness

Written by Rabbi Andrew Paley

As the Jewish New Year began and the holidays that followed were commemorated, it made for a busy and celebratory fall. In the first month of the Jewish year, there are not two big holidays, but four. Lots to celebrate. As that month ends, it is followed by the only month in the Jewish year without something to celebrate and was dubbed “the bitter month” as a result.

It is bitter indeed, as it was also the time when we paused in our day recently to acknowledge the year anniversary of the mass shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh. That tragic moment, and so many like it, stands as a reminder of the terrible scourge of violent and extreme anti-Semitism that is on the rise and rearing its ugly head. We continue to think of those killed and wounded and pray for their continued healing. We are grateful to the first responders and those who give their time and love to care for those in need. I once thought in the 21st century, it would be unimaginable in the United States for us to be counting over 200 separate shootings with mass casualties. Churches and synagogues would be targets.

Sadly, the dream of that being impossible has been shattered, over and over. These types of crimes have found a resurgence in our communities. Now, perhaps more than ever we must raise our voices and spirits to say this hatred and violence is not who we are, not who we wish to become, and not the legacy we choose to leave for our children.

Reverend Rachel Smith, founder of God Not Guns wrote, “As people of faith, we must stand witness to the destructive power of gun violence. We must say we will rely not on guns, but on God. We will affirm not guns, but life. We will bless not guns, but our common humanity. We must hold up a higher value saying that our children’s lives are a sacred trust and that human life is more important than any gun.” And most importantly we must recognize that violent rhetoric leads to violent action, especially when we transgress the biblical injunction not to remain indifferent. We as brothers, bound by the ideals of true manhood, democracy and humanity, must never let that happen.

In a small but significant way, our brothers of the Sigma Omicron Chapter at Nebraska are demonstrating these ideals by showing up. Here, at the Nebraska State Holocaust Memorial in Lincoln, the men are regularly involved in cleanup, polishing, and partnering with local Jewish youth groups. They ensure the memorial is a clean, safe, and sacred space where every visitor can connect to the memories of the victims and the aspirations for a better society. Spurred into action by Alumnus Gary Hill, Sigma Omicron’s effort really matter as a symbol of standing up to the darkness of our day. They remind us of not only the best of Sigma Alpha Mu, but also that a little bit of effort really does go a very long way. May their example be our inspiration.

Rabbi Andrew Paley has served as a Chapter Advisor, Regional Governor, Consul of the Octagon and as Supreme Recorder. He believes in the value of sharing experience and insights gained from more than 20 years in the rabbinate and Jewish communal life. Rabbi Paley is among several spiritual leaders in the Fraternity, imparting and sharing his wisdom with fratres.

Health & Safety

Written by Ken Schneider, Young Alumnus Consul

In response to evolving challenges, we need to be proactive establishing a safer on-campus experience for members of Sigma Alpha Mu. We are starting to implement better ways not only to safeguard our fratres but also our guests. The young men and women are invited on a weekly basis to share an experience with a positive outlook on Sigma Alpha Mu. A disservice is committed if clear policies are not implemented and communicated to keep our guests safe. Sigma Alpha Mu introduced measures like the Good Samaritan Policy within the Risk Management Policy. Sigma Alpha Mu strives to educate its members about sexual assault, what constitutes these offenses and how other Greek organizations are creating similar frameworks. While Sigma Alpha Mu currently possesses a written policy on these matters, updates in policy and reporting standards require our volunteers to anticipate challenges and respond appropriately. The Health and Safety Task Force took on this charge from the Octagon, led by Patrick Wright III (Delta Zeta, ‘14) as well as a handful of other dedicated alumni. 

This task force set out to accomplish a number of tasks including: drafting language to help define the key terms surrounding different sexual offenses, researching university Title IX offices across the country, as well as other Greek letter organizations, for policies and language/education with the ultimate goal of creating a consistency within our language and education. Each of the listed tasks complement each other and help ensure that active members are receiving the best counsel. 

A simple step may go a long way in bridging a knowledge gap, like the definitional divide amongst terms like sexual assault, sexual harassment, abuse and rape. Each term is differentiated and explained clearly within the policy. This will communicate to undergraduate members why each category of offenses requires clarification. The task force agreed upon definitions that originated from federal law enforcement agencies. The committee would like to see these definitions be utilized as a guide by risk management officers and councils to talk about these offenses with their members. 

In addition to this step, our task force charged its members to look to the example of other Greek organizations and university offices to identify patterns in policy beneficial to ΣAM. Everfi recently published The Definitive Relationship Between Alcohol and Sexual Assault on College Campuses, considerations which are within our membership policies. Universities are accommodating to new laws and reporting policies within their Title IX investigations. In response, Greek organizations will adapt education methods to reach more of their members. 

The research and work of the committee will draft new policies into the existing Risk Management document. Recommendations will be made as to potential programming and additional resources for those within the Chapters charged with disseminating the information to the undergraduate membership. Ultimately, the continued success of the Fraternity will be aided by the tireless work performed on a volunteer basis by the members of the Health and Safety Task Force, and its work is incredibly worthwhile considering the implications. 

Advisor Training

Written by Doug Montgomery, Consul

Before serving on the Octagon, I served as the Chapter Advisor for Gamma Kappa alongside Aaron Herstein (Texas A&M, ‘08). We appointed an alumni advisory board that held monthly phone calls and advised undergraduate members individually. As a result of the hard work of the Chapter and its advisory board, Gamma Kappa Chapter received the Founder’s Cup in 2016. The transformational Chapter advisors of Sigma Alpha Mu are often seen alongside Founder’s Cup recipients. The advisors attribute to the Chapter’s performance at Founder’s Level. 

Chapters without risk management violations most often have a strong Chapter advisor. Unfortunately, strong Chapter advisors are not present at every Chapter. A problem identified by the Octagon was that newer Chapters have trouble locating dedicated alumni to serve as Chapter advisor. When they do find someone, the advisor rarely has an idea of what are the best practices. 

We identified the duties of a Chapter advisor and compiled a checklist of Chapter advisor best practices. With that information, we developed a grading rubric for advisors to self-report their involvement with the Chapter. This will lead to accountability among advisors and reward those that perform at a high level. It will also be a yearly reminder of what the advisor expectations are during the school year. We prepared a training program for more of the nuts and bolts of Chapter advising. The training program is a series of modules to engage with the university/administration, new members, parents, and the council. 

Additionally, new advisors will know how to set up an alumni club and advisory board, comprehend policies/laws, and show appropriate conduct at meetings and facilitating discussions. The first iteration of the modules will be improved and added to overtime. The committee received funding approval from the Octagon to update our website, sam.org. 

The upgrades, approved for educational purposes, will support an online training platform. Online training will become a fixture for alumni volunteers and undergraduates looking to relate to their newly elected positions on council. The Chapter advisor certification program will be introduced shortly after our website updates are completed. 

It is important to note Chapter advisors will not be punished for failing to complete a self-evaluation. They will be encouraged to self-evaluate and be rewarded appropriately. If the committee is able to inform the Chapter advisors about best practices and encourage more meaningful interaction with the Chapter, alumni, and university administration, we will have met our goal. 

We believe this program can facilitate and promote safer Chapters, engage alumni volunteers, and lower insurance costs through a safer track record. Many of the larger Greek organizations utilize online training. Now is our time to begin. 

Under Siege

Written by Andy Huston, Executive Director 

Take a look at the headlines. Fraternities are under siege. 

Harvard has blackballed students that participate in single-sex organizations from key leadership, scholarship and fellowship opportunities, despite not formally recognizing fraternities and sororities. Students at Yale are suing fraternities for not allowing women to join. 

Why is this happening? University administrators and students are increasingly concerned about sexual harassment, assault, discrimination, and the perpetuation of toxic masculinity. Those behind these policies or legal actions believe that eliminating single-sex fraternities will create a more safe and inclusive campus. 

Op-eds calling for the end of Greek Life have existed for decades. Today, a group of student activists at Swarthmore drove its fraternity chapters to disband after misogynist, racist and homophobic remarks from chapter archives were circulated around campus and online. While abhorrent conduct cannot be tolerated, today’s student leaders have little room for error and are being painted with a broad brush. 

You have read about campus-wide suspensions of every Fraternity and Sorority imposed as a result of misconduct by one Chapter on campus. Following a tragedy, this all too common response from administrators is heavily informed by public scrutiny and institutional liability rather than student rights and due process. It is easy to single-out Greeks as the most visible student groups on campus. Rarely are the individuals held accountable for their actions that result in the closure of a Chapter. 

We are experiencing more investigations into alleged policy violations. At the same time, university conduct proceedings are more aggressively disciplining lesser policy violations. Chapters have been suspended for conduct that would have been addressed with educational sanctions. 

Overwhelmed university administrators use conduct to justify halting expansion efforts just as recruitment numbers are declining. As a membership organization, this inhibits growth and causes financial strain. We know that new Chapters bring positive energy, values, and change to the campus community and greater fraternal movement. 

Is Fraternity behavior worse than it was a few years ago? I would argue the overall conduct has improved. 

There has been an uptick in the number of conduct reports we receive but it is somewhat reassuring they are not tragic, headline-grabbing incidents. In fact, increased education and communication with members and parents have empowered more reports of concerning behavior. Amplified awareness from the global #MeToo conversation have translated to an influx of reporting harassment and assault on college campuses. 

Sigma Alpha Mu is not resigned to accept this as the new normal, to blame campus culture, or the society as a whole. The fraternal movement is under siege. We are fighting for the future of Sigma Alpha Mu. We have joined the legal fight against Harvard and Yale to protect our single-sex status alongside the interfraternal community. We’re continuing to educate our fratres about policies related to alcohol, hazing, and sexual assault. Sigma Alpha Mu remains committed to finding new and safe ways to ensure a rewarding experience for members to carry for a lifetime. 

Our young men will be equipped with the best resources, education and training available so they can confidently navigate their collegiate experience. 

Our Fraternity experience should enhance their resume and professional trajectory, rather than being its demise. 

Living up to our Creed is a clear path. We need to ensure that our fratres understand and live up to our eight ideals wholeheartedly. 

Sigma Alpha Mu recognizes the existential threat we face if our values don’t win the day. Now is the time to join us in the fight. We need mentors, advisors and volunteers. We need innovators, investors and donors. We need wellness resources and legal expertise. We need referrals of college-bound men of good moral character for our active and dormant Chapters. We need your talents to ensure our lifelong brotherhood is the gold standard that exists for generations to come.

Modern Founding Father

Written by Andy Johnson, (Mu Zeta, ’17)

“Let’s do something about it. I’m here to get things done,” noted Jake Steel (NYU, ‘19).

Jake Steel is committed to his community. While the stereotypical college student might be destroying his liver or his idealistic views of the future, Steel is working for a better world. The NYU junior puts everything he has into bettering himself and those around him; it has been his inescapable passion since adolescence.

In high school, Steel joined BBYO, the national Jewish youth organization that enriches the lives of Jewish teenagers and fosters lasting connections within the Jewish community. He flourished as a member in his hometown of Atlanta, Georgia, and eventually switched chapters to help breathe life back into a now important chapter. Steel pointed out, “The work I’m doing for Sigma Alpha Mu right now isn’t all that different. It’s about shaping our identity and recruiting people to join our community.

While he was serving as a staff member at the BBYO national conference in 2016, a few men from a different fraternity approached Steel. Their conversation inspired Steel to assemble his organization of like-minded men with values similar to those of BBYO. He founded the NYU Sammy interest group in fall 2017.

The guys that chatted with Steel at BBYO’s conference are likely kicking themselves for not recruiting a first-round draft talent when they had the chance. The Sigma Alpha Mu interest group that Steel constructed has gone from one man’s vision to a community of 30 brothers. With colony status on the horizon, and a potential charter to follow shortly after, Jake Steel and the Sammies at NYU might be on their way to summiting the Big Apple. “There’s so much we can do here in New York, and we are taking full advantage of it right now.”

Top-of-Mind Values

Written by David Sergi, Past Supreme Prior

As we all know, we live in challenging times. Times have changed since most alumni and parents were in school. What was acceptable 20 years ago is simply no longer acceptable. There is no question that this has been a challenging semester for fraternities. If you have been following the headlines this fall, you would note three hazing-related deaths from other fraternities at LSU, Florida State, and Texas State. These campuses and others, including Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio State have instituted campus-wide suspensions of Greek Life in the wake of fraternity/sorority conduct concerns. Many attribute the abuse of drugs and alcohol as the primary reason for the problems faced by the Greek Life, however, we need to reflect and realize, that drug and alcohol abuse is a symptom of a broader social problem that all of our partners in higher education and fellow stakeholders must address. The NIH’s National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcohol estimates that 1,825 college-age students die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, including motor-vehicle crashes. We have to do our part and we must be a driving force to ensure that universities do their part by recognizing that they cannot scapegoat Greek Life for the broader problems that the community faces. It is impossible to reconcile abhorrent incidents of hazing, alcohol abuse, and sexual harassment/abuse with our values. We have an obligation to be brothers and leaders. As a Fraternity, we must bring our eight, core values to the forefront of our actions: simplicity holiness, purity, justice, sincerity, fraternalism, idealism and truth.

As Supreme Prior, I’ve had outstanding discussions with our undergraduate leaders about these altars following our Model Ritual at Convention. The vast majority of our members strive to uphold these high standards – as evidenced by the updates in this issue’s “Around the Chapters.”

Our values are a call to action and reflection. The Octagon has acted to make our values more present in our publications, education, and culture. We have also used them as a guidepost as we address the current state of fraternity life. We are doing more than pay lip service to our values, we are working hard to implement them in our daily lives. As a result, the Octagon has launched a new Health and Safety Task Force. This group is tasked with exploring policies, research, resources, and best practices in order to ensure our fraternity experience is safe, rewarding, and worthy of our Creed. We are also developing an international parents forum so that we can engage our parents in conjunction with the new member education of their sons. Parents and alumni can play a pivotal role in reinforcing our values while encouraging students to address risk management concerns and bystander behavior for the wellbeing of their peers. There are opportunities for you to contribute to these efforts. Now, more than ever, Sigma Alpha Mu needs you to be a bridge builder for the next generation.

Service Day

Written by Kelby Dolan, Director of Communication and Alumni Engagement

On Saturday morning of Convention, over 120 undergraduates served a collective 350+ volunteer hours in partnership with the United Way at the Children’s Home Society and Bayshore Memory Care. The two community service events helped over 100 people in the Naples community. The first group went to the Children’s Home Society of Florida where they landscaped and painted after a tropical storm damaged the property.

“Before we started, the Executive Director showed us how we were impacting their educational community,” said Prior Patrick Wright (Delta Zeta, ‘14). “The way the event was set up was to teach the value of community service. We were able to go into a place that needed help. By the time we left, we could immediately see our efforts moving forward. What took our large group a small amount time, would have taken their team multiple days.” Educational Leadership Consultant Samuel Friday added, “I was humbled to work alongside fraters who shared my sincere interest to give back. Despite the heat and humidity, we helped bring the children back to a more beautiful school.”

The next group traveled to Bayshore Memory Care to deliver teddy bears they stuffed at the hotel and spend time engaging with its residents. Sigma Alpha Mu volunteers participated in activities with residents to help Bayshore. In the weeks before Convention, Bayshore Executive Director Alicia Pratt discovered that resident Fred Averbuch (Wayne State, ‘57) is a Sammy. Mrs. Averbuch requested that only one or two young men meet with her husband so as not to overwhelm him with a large crowd. When the fraternity men arrived on site, two members from the Gamma Psi Chapter at Temple University were identified to meet with Fred, Fred’s wife, and personal assistant.

Dominic Amalfitano (Gamma Psi, ‘16), who was asked to take on the role minutes before, said, “Initially, I was nervous when I found out that I had been selected. I also understood Fred is our frater. The meaning of Brotherhood is essentially for life. It stretches out to all fraternity chapters. Focusing on that thought, I became more confident.” Dominic was joined by Tommy Moran (Gamma Psi, ‘15). “It was definitely a life-changing experience that hit close to home. I knew how much being in that setting meant to Tommy and to his family.” Tommy was emotionally moved to tears by the event and shared, “my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We had to help her transition into a home – like this. I felt for
Fred’s family. What they were going through. He did not know exactly who we were but it meant quite a lot to be there for all of them.” Dr. Fred Averbuch, an ENT-otolaryngologist who served the Naples, Florida for over 20 years, joined Sigma Alpha Mu at Wayne State University where he received his medical degree.

Dominic, standing a patient distance from Fred and his wife, waited for Mrs. Averbuch to finish making his introduction to Fred. “Standing there next to him, I understood the troubles he and his wife were were going through. I wanted to bring back memories of the fraternity. I feel like wherever you are from we all have similar experiences for Sigma Alpha Mu. That’s something I wanted to bring out for him to see.” Dominic had been given visual aides to share including Fred’s 1957 pledge card, biographical information sheet, and composite photograph. Mrs. Averbuch helped Dominic describe each of the items. Dominic also had gifts to share with Fred that included a purple Sammy polo, Spring 2017 Octagonian, and a flag pin with Sigma Alpha Mu on the left and Israel on the right. “I saw his face light up and smile when we gave it to him,” recalled Dominic. “He held onto it closely, triggering memories for him, the most powerful item that we gave him.”

Dominic concluded his meeting with Dr. Averbuch. Mrs. Averbuch turned to personally thank Dominic and Tommy. The group went outside where Fred and Dominic played basketball on a small hoop outside in the garden. Bayshore’s Director of Nursing Joe Thompson reflected on how this type of community service is irreplaceable. “Endorphins are released when you sing, dance and interact,” states Joe, “you helped our residents do that. We thank Sigma Alpha Mu for coming.”

When the community service concluded at Bayshore, staff and volunteers gathered filling the lobby. To the group’s surprise, Dr. and Mrs. Averbuch joined for the concluding ceremony. The staff arranged a seat of honor for Fred where the Sammy volunteers serenaded him with the fraternal song, Fast and Firm. As the young men recited the creed, Fred nodded along mouthing the words. The volunteers triggered a memory in Dr. Averbuch and shared an awe-inspiring moment.

“I think about humanity which is one of the focal points in our Creed,” recalls Dominic, “Part of what makes us fraters in Sigma Alpha Mu is an innate desire to give back. This community service helped define that our fraternity experience is for a lifetime.”